Diagnosis: Part 5 - not a good result

So Tuesday 1oth came along and Dad & I went to Mayday for the appointment to get my diagnosis. I don't think either of us really believed it was going to be something so dramatic, but it was a nervous wait nonetheless. Ironicly enough, with the painkillers I'd had in the week since the surgery, I'd had one of my best weeks since Christmas, with reduced symptoms & sleeping well, which was something at least...

We were called in and met a new consultant - apparently the one I'd met the first time had been called away on "emergency maternity leave", which was a little confusing since I swear she was stick thin when I'd last seen her 2 weeks before - random. Anyway, the new guy was nice enough, but he didn't mess about, straight to the diagnosis: Hodgkin's Lymphoma, reasonably early stage - he made it clear that it was very treatable, and then went on to talk through the basics of the chemo and what was to happen next. Dad and I just sat & listened - I think we were both in shock really. Dad only asked one question; "so it is a type of cancer?" - I already knew the answer, but I think he needed to hear the doctor say it. An appointment was made for the following Monday at the Royal Marsden (cancer specialist) Hospital in Sutton, and we left.

We drove home quietly. Of course, there were some tears as you might expect. When we got home I started making calls to let people know - the first of these was really hard - I think saying it out loud makes it more real. But as I spoke to more people throughout the day and it started to sink in it got easier, a feeling which continued over the next couple of days. I know everyone takes things differently, but it didn't take as long as you might think for me to arrive at the mindset that I've got this thing, good professional people are going to give me the best treatment science can offer (and I do love science), it's going to be hard for a good chunk of the next year, but then it'll be gone, and life will go on, and it'll be good. And that's where I am now, and hopefully where I'll continue to be.

And that's it for the diagnosis flashbacks (although I have got one more scan to come at the Marsden, but that's still in the future at the moment!)

Last weekend was Valentines day. I had a truely wonderful day with my beautiful Alexia. I know you guys probably didn't need to know that, but I felt like saying it, so Ha! Value your good days when you get them people! (and get your flowers from Floral Hall, West Norwood - best in South London!)